The bad cartoonist

Here’s another look at who’s discovered crayons and who has spent more time using their adobe mojo rather than coming up with an idea that floats.

 This weeks “Look Ma, I did it all by myself” award goes to Scott Stantis for this series of cartoons.

AUGH! My eyes!  Scott, just because the press prints in CMYK doesn’t mean that those are the only colors you can use.  Try something a little more subtle like, oh I don’t know, sky-blue?  You know, the color that you actually see when you look up.  What you have there is a serious abuse of the gradient tool.  Watch out or you might get your photoshop rights revoked.    The mail, on the other hand, is spot on.  Everything I get in my mailb0x is banana yellow.  My text bubbles are always urine-colored too.

 I feel like Scott’s patriotism is spilling over into his job.  His insatiable need to label everything lead him to show that both the hat and the mailbox are true Americans.

By the way, the press-room called.  They ran out of cyan before they got half-way through with your cartoon.

 Snore…… Oh, sorry, where was I?  Oh looky, cyan and yellow!  That, by the way, is a very original idea.  Two people watching TV.  I’ll have to try that someday.

Ug.  Cartoonists need to stop crying about their jobs when all they can come up with is a weeping logo.  I know he’s busy doing two other garishly self-righteous cartoons but, come on, he traced a logo, drew a tear-drop and put his signature on it.  Whoop-dee.  His readers dropped 10 IQ points just by looking at this cartoon.  And, if you look hard enough, I think it has cyan in it and today I really hate cyan.

 Let’s look at some other cartoons.  Chip Bok gets the ‘Coloring is hard work’ award.

I know that cross-hatching is time consuming but we should be used to the repetitive motion from patting ourselves on the back all day.  Apparently, Chip wanted to do a color cartoon but only got half-way through when he found out that there was a world-wide shortage of cyan.  Thanks a lot, Scott.  Now poor Chip looks like he was just lazy.

Just wanted to point something out. Steve Greenberg did exactly zero drawing in this cartoon.  It’s all type, Benjamins and a bad gradient.  He get’s the ‘photoshop can fix anything’ award for this one.  When I first saw this I thought, “Huh.  Is that supposed to be a black hole?”  Luckily, Steve was kind enough to spell it out for us because his cartoon wasn’t able to do so.  See where it says ‘black hole’?  That means one of two things:

Option A: The cartoonist assumes that the reader is too stupid to understand.

Option B: The cartoonist knows that no one will get this stupid cartoon.

This cartoon died in photoshop when the cartoonist realised he didn’t have the ability to convey his idea visually.  His photohop kung-fu was just not strong enough.  Mike Thompson, the Ivan Drago of CS2, has one answer for such weakness.

Yup, a brick wall. 

At least he didn’t use cyan.