The bad cartoonist

Today is your lucky day.  I am going to teach you the secrets that have kept political cartoonists in their high and loft positions for decades while you, with infinitely more wisdom and political insight, are doomed to life your life without the prestige, wealth and hot trophy wives that we cartoonists have. 

 Lesson one:  The scrambled egg.

Not a creative person?  Can’t think up any new ideas?  Don’t worry that never held Jeff Koterba back!  Here’s how you too can make a cartoon out of nothing.

 Step one:  Go to Cnn.com and see what the biggest story of the day is- but it can’t have anything to do with politics. 

 Take that story and mix it up, don’t hold back now.  You can add a politician or even a country.  You don’t need an opinion just use this tired formula like these cartoonists:

Funny, Aislin but not too original.  This one was used by several other cartoonists but I’m too lazy to find them now.

 John Trever might have been the only cartoonist to do a satellite cartoon that didn’t have anything to do with John McCain.  It still doesn’t count as being creative though.

Steve Benson, on the other hand, is the only person in the country who thinks that there was any meat behind the New York Times story.

If you’re so ignorant of the news that you can’t come up with something from Cnn you can always rely on Hollywood to do the creative work for you.  Just take any movie poster and put a politician in it.  See, now you’re a cartoonist!

R.J. Matson has this down pat.  He usually beats everybody to the punch.  Get it?  John McCain- old men?  Just wait till May.  Every stinkin’ cartoonist in the country will be doing Ironman cartoons.  But R.J. will probably be the first.

Jeff Darcy used this trick too.  But his old men were Cuban.  Very original.   And the ‘passing the cigar’ is such a brilliant idea I think only half of the cartoonists in the country did that 5 days ago.  See, he took a bunch of other peoples ideas, jumbled them together, and WHAM!  We call it exercising our first amendment rights.

If you live in Boston you can’t make fun of socialists so Hobert when for McCain.  Oh yea, he’s old.

David Horsey thinks John McCain is old too.  Very original.

Poor, old Sandy.  He is so out of touch with what’s on the zeitgest that he had to use a movie that was made TWO YEARS AGO.  If you are going to use a tired formula you should at least try to keep it current.  And what’s with the thought bubbles trailing off the left…. is this a dream?  Did Ralph Nader dream hiself a snake winning an Oscar for an outdated reference to pop-culture?  That’s deep, Sandy, really deep.

Sigh.  It must have been a very bleak day for Mike Ramirez to have to reach all the way back to Titanic to come up with this cartoon.  Just so you know, nobody cares about Dicaprio anymore.  I know you would like to focus on a time when you were actually relevant in the cartooning world but but it’s time to let to turn off Celine Dion and try something new.