The bad cartoonist

Why can’t people draw Hillary? Are we such an entrenched bunch that we just don’t know how to draw a woman? I need to find answers, because I can’t draw her either.

Let’s look at some recent attempts.

Adam Zyglis does caricatures better than 80% of the cartoonists who have worked decades longer than he has. I’ve seen him do a good Hillary capturing her snide superiority but this has just a bit too much zombie.

Since most of Glen McCoy’s cartoons look like he drew them with his butt-cheeks I can’t say this is his worst work. But it does illustrate how most cartoonists cannot draw women; they hardly ever have to unless the Editorial Page Editor is on a kick about mainstreaming.

Steve Benson’s Hillary is so bad she made Martin Luther King cry. Usually his work only causes weeping for the disenfranchised atheists but this one stoops to an all-time low in regards to emotional appeals. Also, I’m all for using a little spittle now and then but he’s really got the water works going in this cartoon.

Gary Markstein… what can I say? She looks so manly he even forgot to give her breasts; just one really big shoulder. This is one instance when he SHOULD have copied someone else.

Lalo started with her eyebrows and screwed those up so badly that he decided to hide the rest of her behind a sign.

J.D. Crowe screws up both Hillary and Giuliani in one cartoon. Was he trying to make her look like a transvestite? I’m not sure, but I am suspicious. The only way he could have made them worse was by merging them into one hideous monstrosity.

Shoot. This travesty by M.E. Cohen makes me question how on earth he makes a living as a freelance cartoonist. And we all wonder why circulation numbers are down? It’s because crap like this keeps killing off the readers. Oh yea, is this supposed to be funny because, if it is, I sure missed it. There is a lesson to be learned in this. Never use your initials instead of your name like M.E. Cohen and J.D. Crowe. You’ll be a sucky cartoonist with a stupid name if you do.

Bob Engelhart was born to draw Little Orphan Annie and nothing else.

Eric Devericks idea of an original idea is a bad caricature against a white background with stink marks all around them. He does this same thing every. single. day. How about trying to do a brick wall now and then? It works for Mike Thompson.

Chip Bok has got to be the most pathetic cartoonist in all of these United States. I hear he was funny about two decades ago when America was yukking it up to Mork and Mindy. His drawing style is a mix of Glen McCoy arse-drawing and some MacNelly cross-hatching thrown in around the text bubble for the sake of originality because, you know, NOBODY tries to draw like Jeff MacNelly. I’ve seen kitty litter that looked more like Hillary than Chip crapped out below.